CONNECTION STARTS WITH SEE
By: Alisa Schneidman
Connection. It is the “C” word of the month. I am going to stop here and Clarify (another C word of Self Energy). Every month Alicia (my business partner in Elements of Wellness and I) chose one of the Cs and/or Ps of Self-Energy to make the theme of our classes, Sound Baths, and the blog. My goal is to finish the blog at the beginning of the month (says a critical part) to give more context, but it is a work in progress.
It took a bit to write this blog and I am laughing to myself because each time I have gotten to a place I get annoying physical symptoms. The first time was hip pain that kept getting worse and this time my contact started irritating my eye so much I had to stop several times to attend to it. This time I stopped writing faster and checked in with myself because I know there is a part of me seriously distracted and irritated and the contact thing is making it worse. The way I checked in was by closing my eyes and just saying focusing on the irritation and saying, “what’s up”? I started to realize a part of me is tired of explaining things and doesn’t feel like breaking it down. It doesn’t want to write this-it really hates being told what to write. So, it stops me. It is irritating and needed to be heard and it makes sense. My eyes feel better. I am marveling at that and grateful. It is the part of me that protected my voice and writing was how I would freely use it. It shuts me down-writer’s block- if it feels I am being because that was the place I could speak without consequences. It has been doing so often at the sign of a threat, that it hasn’t realized there isn’t on anymore. Until now.
That part of me needed acknowledged-seen. I am sitting here really impressed by how clever it was to use my eye to do it. I love puns so that makes me laugh. I can feel the relief inside, and relaxation. This part of me does feel a bit irritated with me for just now noticing what it has been doing-and I get that too. That helped me feel a sense of calm inside. The part of me is still there, but it isn’t agitated.
I have a part of me saying I did not need to describe this, and it is not the way to do it and what does this have to do with connection. I am not going to try to make that feeling go away because this is a different way to write about IFS, its got a valid point this is a risk. I do understand it. I understand that being different and having a voice was dangerous for a long time. I wrote a whole book for kids about it. I am letting the parts of me know the difference know I am not little anymore and I’m not alone. It’s my website this is published on.
Those parts of me that didn’t want to write this and feared judgment were disconnected, and it felt terrible. Connection was the experience of being seen, accepted, appreciated, acknowledged, and wanted and that made all the difference. That experience helped bring Perspective and healing-I felt the energy shift. I feel it now. That is the Connection in Self-Energy.
I would love to connect with you, please reach out and we can set up a time to talk. Look for the next blog soon…