Be the bigger person. A protective part of me lived by that mantra so there could be no recriminations in a world where experience had shown me that anger is an entitlement of those who provoke it. The next best thing is to be silent—clear of wrongs. Be the bigger person, in the end.

Everyone is affected and there is no “bad guy”, there are wounded people- wounded parts. However, not all parts have equal responsibility in interactions and not all people have equal culpability. I heard multiple times “you and your mother…” or “why can’t you and your mother...”, as if a child had the same level of authority, experience, power, and responsibility as the parent, let alone the addict. Putting voice to this I realized I had been gaslit by the trap of moral equi

I have a part of me that would get foggy when I wanted to talk about gaslighting.....