Recovery was not my first choice. Not in the beginning. I didn't choose the disease either but I was going to be damned if every choice in my life was going to be determined by some outside agency. How wrong I was- but we all have a process- we all have a resistance and here was mine. I had backed myself into a corner with my decisions and I wanted to do it, the other part of me didn't want to relinquish control, addiction is powerful and make no mistake rock bottom does not