The Power of Play
Every month the word offers me a new challenge- I have one part that looks forward to it and another part that dreads it. Playfulness brings up of a lot of parts with burdens particularly the one that carries the message “you can’t have fun until you finish your work”. This blog definitely posed a challenge, and the irony is that part was insistent I get it done.
Playfulness is threatening to a lot of parts because it brings feelings of joy and expansiveness. Wait, what? Why would that be threatening? Well, like compassion, it’s feels good and it’s easy to like, those things weren’t trustworthy or they were transient and could be taken away- they seemed to come by chance or luck. So, the feelings associated with playfulness would be particularly threatening to protective parts that are waiting for the shoe to drop. That’s real, and that’s life through their eyes.
These young parts of us were forced into adult roles at an age where we were supposed to be in the role of a child. They are most likely exhausted and confused! It is hard to be a kid saddled with adult responsibilities but not given adult freedom. However, those parts of us can be stuck in those patterns because they feel frozen (it’s a good description because it’s a fear response) at the point the trauma occurred and will stay that way until it feels safe enough to let down their guard. What if we could show them things don’t have to be random chance? That playing is a kid’s job and we want to help them be able to do it? What if they could allow someone else to take over for a bit?
Where would play even enter the picture? It starts with curiosity check in and see what that part of you would like to do if it didn’t have to act in the adult role. Then let it know you hear it by giving it a chance to try it out in a time that feels good to your system.
Let these parts know kids learn through play so desiring it is as natural as wanting to work. These kid parts of us were occupied with adult roles so the concept of play will feel foreign and unsafe. It is only through our connecting and giving them the space, time and compassion they need they begin to soften and connect to the essence of us that is radiating that energy to them. They are an essential part of being playful and accessing joy. Things are not happening by chance- it is a choice the choices we are making are to integrate these gifts into our lives.
Developing this relationship takes work. It is an incredible journey- please reach out to me so we can talk about yours.