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Internal Family Systems (IFS)…The Monkey Mind…It’s Taking Care of You


Wow, writing this blog has been difficult. I have typed and erased the introduction so many times I lost count. It just struck me this is the perfect way to talk about the topic I have been trying to write about for a solid month, Internal Family Systems, or IFS, to give you a real time glimpse of how it works…so here we go… welcome to a snapshot of the internal debate that has cost me weeks.

Scene, my head:  a part of me knows it’s important I say I practice this modality as a Holistic Mental Coach, another part is relieved I plugged the fact I do the modality and the coaching, another part thinks that was a lame way to do it, another part thinks I should define this topic for you and then another part of me thought that would be way too boring for a blog and that’s why people have cellphones and Google, there is a part of me that worries about wording and didn’t want to plagiarize anything, so I had to make sure everything was absolutely 100% original, so, a part of me gets overwhelmed, closes my computer and is like “I will work on this tomorrow”. A part of me is convinced I used commas inappropriately, so I had to begin a new sentence, and another one is like this is supposed to represent stream of consciousness. Another part would get ideas of what I wanted to say but I would be with a client or in the shower, and a part of me would be like ok, just hold onto it until I can write it down, and I would come back to do it and I would forget again, so it would just be an endless loop that got me here. I have a part of me saying I wish I was making this up, and there is me laughing affectionately at the humor in some of my parts because taking a step back I can see it, and I can see how hard they were working to do this well and take care of me and I am really grateful.  I am taking a moment to let them know it while I write this sentence. Full disclosure, I promised this is where I stopped sharing my inner dialogue, because to feel safe internally I have to respect what all parts of me need. 

We all have an inner system, and we all have different parts of us trying to keep us safe and in balance; they are looking out for our best interest. Not every part shows up talking -we may feel sensations, sometimes a part gives us a headache or make us nauseous, sometimes they show up in thoughts (please see above, says a funny part), it may be in feelings (joy, anger, sadness, etc.), behavior (writing, reading, falling asleep, gambling). The list is extensive and so varied because everyone’s system is so different. The parts are the pieces of our system that are affected by trauma. They are frozen at the point the trauma hit, so they will respond to loving leadership that is compassionate and accepting of them so they can leave the heavy burdens they are holding behind and just be in their natural state.

Enter Self. Self is our life energy, -vitality-Chi-Ki-spark-soul-essence (a part of me saying-okay enough) that is not a part, but is our inner connection to the higher source (my words), and in IFS language, Self Energy. It is the I- or me. It is the inner healer, and it is in all our parts-it is why our parts have familiar energy and why we are the ones who can reach and heal them. Our Self Energy have certain trademark characteristics the 8 Cs and 5 Ps: Courage, Compassion, Calm, Creativity, Clarity, Confidence, Connection, Curiosity, Perspective, Playfulness, Patience, Presence, and Persistence.

A part of me is like wow, I did it, another is like that wasn’t that bad, and another is saying I should have thought of that to begin with-and me-well I am laughing because I actually had a good time doing this and have a lot of gratitude for the parts of me that shared, and its done (says a part). IFS was a way to heal and it’s a way to live.

This is a synopsis. There is so much more, please reach out by phone or email. I would be happy to answer questions and/or set up a time to meet and help facilitate that relationship between your Self and your internal world.


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