For All Those Yet To Speak.....
By: Alisa Schneidman
February holds so many special dates. Dylan’s birthday (the rest of the world calls it Valentine’s Day), The House of Weird was released 11 years ago this month, and last year I had the honor of being present when the Delaware General Assembly signed a bill to make February 11th through February 17th Children of Alcoholics week in Delaware.
Here it is approaching all of these special dates, and I reminded not only of their connection, but of my purpose in starting this company. Serenity Writing Works was created to publish The House of Weird, a book written for kids growing up in homes with addiction and dysfunction, a book Dylan inspired with the statement “it’s just weird…”, a book that was the reason I was at the General Assembly for that bill signing, a book that book was dedicated to all those who have yet to speak. Kids.
I was one of those kids and I still have some inner kids that are affected by it. Most of the kids inside of me have healed the wounds, but there are some still healing. I was a truth teller and that was a problem in a house where addiction sets the rules. It thrives in secrets and shame. If you don’t keep the secrets, you are going to get shamed. I have learned to really appreciate these parts of me that spoke out anyway, I was alone and ashamed, guessing at boundaries, punished for wanting parented and not wanting to parent, this took courage-courage that has kept me alive my whole life. That part of me didn’t get help when I was little, not until I was in my twenties and started recovery from an Eating Disorder, and it was for that child and children like her I wrote and published the book.
Shame is powerful and in a House of Weird it not only protects secrets, it protects you from being a target and being hurt. The problem is your voice gets shut down. The first part of all of this is knowing you don’t need shame to be safe. It helped me heal I wasn’t alone and when I spoke I would be seen and heard with compassion. Eventually, I learned to appreciate how alone I had been and how badass that kid had been.
Not every kid has my story, in fact every single story is different, the problem is kids in these homes don’t typically get to tell their story until they are adults, if they ever feel safe enough to speak. I wrote this book for that little girl, and all the kids that have a story to tell and have their voice heard whenever they are ready to speak because it really is weird.
Some Journaling Questions:
Going inside yourself and getting curious with the younger parts of yourself:
What makes it feel safe to speak?
What story do those parts or kids inside have to tell? What do they want you to know?
Who told them the story about them?
Are they telling” the story” or their story?
~Alisa
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